Tuesday, June 23, 2009



i knew it was coming since i hadn't had a secondary temp spike, but what is most likely allergies had me thinking i'd won the lottery with being utterly knackered, food tasting off, constant upset stomach, and low grade headache. of course at 5:15 am yesterday, you probably all heard my frustrated yell of "F&*^!!" as my temp dropped from it's 5 day streak of 98.4 to 98.2, despite me bundling myself in multiple layers before heading to bed.

so i'm a faced with a decision right now. the nurse who called yesterday told me to call back on CD1 to schedule my baseline scan for the next cycle. bwuh? i asked was this DC3 bloodwork or a sonogram. she said a sonogram since after medicated cycles they need to check for any cysts and see if you need to take a break. i explained that, hi, i'm single and thus uninsured for such things, and no, had not had one done previously. she seemed highly confused and read through my chart, but still insisted it was SOP to do a scan, but she'd put a note on my file, so when i called they could let me know if it was actually necessary.

of course part of me would love to have the scan done because i'd like to know just what shape my right ovary is in, and if half of it is missing (or it's just shriveled up like some forlorn raisin) as my RE said the bloodwork had her thinking.

my checkbook on the other hand is hiding in the corner whimpering at this point at the mere thought of one more fertility related bill to pay. doesn't help that i smacked it around earlier this morning with an OMG, i need more fertility help spending spree for FertileCM support, FertilityBlend and FertiliTea (because obviously the 6 million supplements and teas i'm already taking have not done anything for me).

i'm also toying with the idea of one last IUI at the clinic, and if that doesn't work, switching to ICI on my own. of course, that may be completely insane given my age and fertility workup. which is where a scan revealing antral follicle count and all the rest could really be enlightening and help decide if i would be throwing my money away on sperm or not. and then there is the question of doing the ICI unmedicated, or talking the RE into clomid while i do this.

because, hey, i do obviously respond and ovulate with the clomid. but then i went and read this article on our amazing ovaries and how they really work.

i followed it up with this article on how thinking too much and overanalyzing everything in this journey does not help. well, duh. i then made myself try and focus on actual work. for about a whole 15 minutes before staring into space and slowly sliding back to the internets.

anyway, i'd love to hear opinions of those who are, ahem, more mature and facing some challenges with conceiving, but managed to do it at home. is it worth saving the $850+ in clinic fees a month? am i looking at better or worse odds?


  1. So sorry.

    [and sorry can't help you on the home insem front, but whatever way you go, I hope next time you succeed].

  2. Crap :( I had a really good feeling about this month for you :(

    I still firmly believe that it will happen for you.

  3. I'm sorry about the bfn. I hope that it's your last one.

  4. BFN's suck. Not sure what to tell you on the scan front. The information you get from it might be really useful and tell you which way to go. If all is well, you'll have confidence doing the ICI's. That alone might be worth the expense. But I hear you on the expense. I was paying about $900 per month for unmedicated IUI's and I did 6 of them. Add medication costs to 2 of them, one failed IVF and finally my last IVF and the cost is astronomical. Its tough to find a balance when you want something so badly.

  5. thanks all. i appreciate the hugs.

    @azhure ~ yeah, i know, i had really amazing feeling about this month as well, including a very clear connection and feeling during one of my meditations. oh well. soon enough, and its own time.

    @Genkicat ~ part of me wonders if i should just take the expense and find out if IVF is a possibility now. i know it wasn't at my initial visit since i was a "poor responder", but now i am apparently a good responder. so would it make more sense and save money in the long run? would it give me better odds? i'll have to check with the RE on the follow up consult. part of me feels like i need a couple more months to get some really healthy eggs ready, though.