Thursday, March 12, 2009

bugger ye all

well, no, things can be worse than even i imagine.

Day 3 FSH - 31
Day 10 FSH - 11
Inhiben B - 17

hi, i'm the Single Hussy and my eggs suck. the only bright side is that everything else was lovely. even my E2 levels where a calm 38 on Day 3 and a yeah, we're listening to you yell 225 on Day 10. not spectacular, but not sign of something else.

the doctor asked if i'd had an ovary or part of one removed. i told her the only thing i remembered hearing after my first endo surgery was that my right ovary was badly scarred and most likely non-functional.

so i asked right away, what do i do? do we just jump into IVF? acupuncture? though she was reserved and not "oh, don't worry, i've had women in your situation get pregnant" (because no, her highest FSH number for pregnancy was a 22), she also said, "i didn't say there was no chance. it's just not a good chance, but we are still going to try."

given the pathetic state of my numbers, no to started with IVF since she doesn't think she would get good eggs. we decided to go ahead and do the HSG next cycle just to make sure we know everything we are dealing with at this point. and we'll do a clomid cycle IUI next cycle as well. get the ball rolling.

so i picked up the card for the acupuncturist they had. but, when i called, i got a different office, and in doing a quick google search, found no info on the guy. plus, it would be waaaay far away.
what did come up on google for the area was a center for well being that focuses on acupuncture for infertility, including tradition Chinese medicines, and it is next door to one of the W&I locations. one of the doctors has almost the exact same last name as me, so i called, and within 5 minutes, she called back. she quickly took down my info, asked about my charting, as many of my numbers as i could remember, my age, situation, etc., and i have an appointment monday night.

i'm also upping my maca root i'm taking, and will start on DHEA tomorrow as well. i'm curious about the FSH drop on day 10. i started on the maca day 8. stress level around day 3 was somewhere through the roof. so my new mission right now is to de-stress as much as possible (we'll see how work cooperates), get to bed earlier, and focus on creating some healthy eggs out of my piddly reserve. it can be done. i'm not going to let this be hopeless.

if i have to, i'll give three IUIs a try now, wait a few months as i continue the other therapy, and try again. i'm focusing on being positive right now. i have to.

and i just have to say that my experience today with my RE's clinic was really refreshing. as soon as i checked in, a nurse came out and introduced herself to me, and apologized that the doctor was running 15 minutes late, and was that okay. (new sonogram machine compete with training techs slowing things down.) i said of course, and within 15 minutes was in the doctors office to talk to her.

after talking to the doctor and coming up with the game plan, the nurse sat with me again, went over all the instructions for the HSG and the IUI. she said chin up, it's been done. as bleak as things felt, no one at any point said, it's hopeless, don't waste your time or money.

after speaking with the acupuncturist, i realized i needed all my blood test results and called over to the office, explaining i needed my numbers, my info was taken so a nurse could call me back. again, within 5 minutes my phone rang, and the nurse explained that we should set up a time tomorrow for the doctor to call and explain them all to me. when i said i had already been in and needed the information for acupuncture, she immediately pulled up my info and gave me the full run done. this kind of support and understanding and cooperation with other practitioners is something i have never encountered when dealing with doctors. it was great.

it was also nice to be told that wow, except for that FSH, i had really good blood results. yeah, no wonder the blood center loves my donations.


  1. I just wanted to pop in here and say that I think it's an amazing thing that you're doing - I think you're going to be a wonderful mother.

    I wish the test results had been better for you, though. What dose of maca are you on, and what are you going to go up to?

  2. thanks, S. as always, i really, really appreciate your support.

    i'm using the gelatinized maca powder in my daily smoothies. i haven't weight the amount, but it's just shy of a tablespoon (the taste is a bit strong). i'm wondering if i should try and find it in the capsule form just to be able to monitor the dosage more closely, but i do like the raw food approach of the powder in the smoothies.

    i do wonder if the maca had anything to do with the drop in the FSH level. started using it on day 7 this month. i doubt it as i don't think it can work that fast, but your endorsement on the sleep pattern and such made me want to give it a try.

    this is all just so frustrating, because form what i've been reading, if the FSH is that high, i should not have regular cycles, but i'm regular like clockwork (okay, except this past month). i really just hope this is stress throwing thing off and that the acupuncture will help with that.

  3. I've been taking maca capsules for a while, and I really notice a difference when I go off them (for one, it completely screws up my cycle - as far as I can tell, when I go off it, I don't ovulate. My cycle would probably re-establish itself if I stayed off maca, but I don't want to do that, aince I get so many benefits).

    Are you eating primarily raw at the moment? I've actually chosen to back away from eating raw (and from eating a lot of soy) because I was worried that it would impact my fertility. I remember finding something a while back that said that if you were eating low calorie (which raw food tends to), then you can boost your fertility by eating a higher number of calories.

  4. your mentioning the maca and it's effect on your sleep and cycles a couple weeks ago is what made me go out to add it to my smoothie recipe.

    i'm not eating raw at all -- i could tell in doing the reading it was not going to be something that my body would agree with, and the appointment with the acupuncturist last night confirmed it. i need warming and nourishing foods to get things flowing in my body again correctly. we reworked the smoothies for less fruit/sugar, and i'm going to have to start eating walnuts as well (yuck!). i already cut out the soy, which is wow, everywhere. hardest to give up has been my miso soup. i so love that stuff.

  5. Yeah, I hear you on the soy!

    And in case you haven't figured it out (I'm not making any announcements anywhere on the LJ or elsewhere), we're trying at the moment. Which has meant me overhauling my diet and going back to ovo-lacto vegetarianism, because I don't think I'd get everything I need fro a vegan diet (not to mention the overload of soy). I don't really have a lot of confidence in my body, though, not the least of which because of having been on drugs that kill fertility. Ugh.

  6. i had a feeling your guys were trying and know your concerns about your body and history, so didn't want to ask. i highly recommend that podcast series i mention in my acupuncture post, and also, because you are like me, changing your view of your body. relish how lovely and strong and amazing it is. it has fought illness with you, but never given up completely. it brought you to writing, your true love. and i know for the two of you, thee there is a little soul out there waiting for the right time and way to enter your life. believe in those miracles and most of all, have faith in yourself.