Tuesday, August 31, 2010

drive-by posting

All my classes these days seem to be focusing on fertilized eggs and the growth of zygote to fetus. I never thought this would drive me batty, but yeah, constant reminders.

And I suppose I should also mention chemical pregnancy #4. An actual positive on the DPO12. Symptoms up the wazoo. But then suddenly, night sweats. I panicked, and rightly so. I checked again on DPO14 (which was before my scheduled beta) and it was negative. Beta day was mandatory with the new office, so it was not a good day. Anyway, it happened. It's over. I'm back to being crazy busy with other bits of life and rebuilding that shattered wall of my emotions, again hoping it is stronger than the prior walls I kept having to rebuild.

I remain in a holding pattern, hoping for an egg or frozen embryo to come my way. Have some interesting thoughts and debates on that. But right now, I really need to get back to class stuff.


  1. Sorry to hear this was a no go...it sucks that you have the constant reminders in your classes too. One bright side, I guess, is that you should breeze that part of your test (if there is one).

    Take Care.

  2. I'm so sorry. So not fair. Even though life is so busy for you right now, I hope you're able to do something nice for yourself. Rebuilding those walls is hard work---you need something to help recharge you :)

    And I'm interested in hearing your thoughts on DE or frozen embryo...

  3. Sorry to hear this...

    Maybe its good to be busy, keeps you from laying on the couch watching ridiculous daytime tv and eating ice cream. (though maybe that is exactly what you need! ;o))

    Keep us posted on your next steps.
    = )

  4. I'm sorry.. I don't know what to say to make you feel better. I hope you know that we (the SMC bloggers) support you and are here for you.

  5. I'm so sorry this one did not work and that you have had such a hard road so far, its really not fair. Whatever you decide on, we will be here for you.

  6. I'm so so sorry to hear this. You are a strong woman and I do believe you'll only get stronger. I'm keeping you in my thoughts along with thoughts of success and total healing for you as well.

  7. Just checking in to see how you're doing...
    hope you are well :)