and we're back.

back to CD1, that is.

yep, blew a follicle early last cycle. way too early, which means, hello, estrogen dominance was rearing it's head the cycle previous and left me with a few extra friends in the ovary.

but despite the raging cramps at the moment, i'm feeling hopeful to staying in balance this cycle, and giving this another normally timed try.

as if anything in this whole process can be considered normal.

dear body:

i'm not sure what you are up to this cycle, but color me very much not amused. we are on CD11 and i would like at least a hint that there is some LH running around my system. also, that temp spike above my coverline on CD10 is So Not Funny. especially given the complete lack of any sighting of LH since CD6, and that a certain frozen vial is winging its way here. bear in mind that Ms. Cervix is also reporting in remains low and firm, and El Libido can only just now be faintly heard humming a cha-cha.

i'm watching you. you better be getting it together, or just wildly excited of the fact that you are finally producing one hell of a primary follicle. i'll let you get away with goofing off with the BBT this one, but i expect everything else to be running as normal. or rather, better than normal.

now, kindly fall into line and return my temps to their normal pre-ovulatory range. extra stress is in no way necessary right now.

much love,
me.

wow, look at that, a whole month and then some went missing up here. i've been a bit holed up in my head of late, struggling with finding time and energy to write. things have been both a whirlwind, and yet the same old boring things. work has mostly taken all my time, and i've been doing some soul-searching on that front and am contemplating a career change.

but that's not why you're breezing by to see if i'm still here.

let's see, long story wrap up from when we last left our intrepid heroine:

• i checked in with my gyn to discuss if endo was hiding and if another surgery should be undertaken. his conclusion is that no, no signs on sonograms or symptoms, and that the risk of surgery for me outweighed any possible benefit.
• i sent off saliva test for my full December cycle to get a full hormone analysis. came back with classic estrogen dominance, to the point that i should not be ovulating as regularly and nicely as i do. but it explains why i was not able to hold onto the egg that fertilized in December -- my progesterone levels are good, but the estrogen is still higher.
• did testing for my adrenals which came back showing major burn-out. classic signs of long term high stress. shocking. absolutely shocking. < /sarcasm > am now on some herbs for adrenal support. my reaction (or rather, my lack there of) to high stress moments now is just amazing.
• did a full herbal cleanse from Blessed Herbs. wow. that was amazing, and felt incredible. i feel like i've completely reset my body, and last month's BBT chart was one of the best i've had this past year.
• was supposed to try another IUI this cycle, but the bank didn't have any IUI sampled ready until *this* month for both my #1 and #2 choices. argh!
• not trying this month may have worked out for the best. at the very end of my cleanse and the start of this cycle, i got hit with a nasty cold. i'm still rather miffed by that -- i haven't had a cold in probably 15 years. i get the flu, i have allergies, but i simply don't get colds.
• i broke down and bought the circle+bloom meditation series. this is another wow. absolutely love it. have never had such a powerful and effective guided meditation experience. the relaxation i'm able to achieve in my body is just amazing.
• started this cycle trying an herbal protocol for the estrogen dominance. unfortunately, i don't think it agreed with my body. i got tossed into a chronic daily migraine cycle, anxiety, depression, mood swings, and just feeling sick and unhappy. i decided to listen to my gut this week and stopped it. 48 hours later, and i am beginning to feel like myself again.

so, that's about where we are. i went ahead and purchased 4 vials of #1 donor in IUI, so i won't get caught not being able to try again. CD20 right now, so should probably drop the midwives a note to let them know i'll be back in circulation next month.

now, to see if i can accomplish the new mission of keeping this spot actually updated in a timely manner...